With today being Valentine's Day, we thought what better topic to bring to the forefront than #BlackLove of course. So here we are again, highlighting conversations with folks about what love means for them, the genesis of their idea of love and abstract ways of conceptualizing love. Here at CoffeeTalk, we never tire about chatting romance up but today we are featuring our friends Joseph and Chris to join the discussion. Hope you all enjoy, xo!
1. How do you define love?
J: Well love is an action it’s more than just a word. Love is being genuine. Love is sacrifice. Love is the ability to look through the facades and see things in a person that others can’t. Love is a feeling in the heart that can’t be denied. When you love someone it’s almost impossible to give up on them. Love is acceptance. It’s being able to accept that the person you love may not be able to love you in the exact manner you may want but they love you according to what they have to give whether physically or mentally.
C: Had this been a few years ago, I would have answered differently. I instantly think of scripture (1 Corinthians 4-8) What this scripture really illustrates is selflessness and putting someone being before ones self.
2. If love was a painting, describe it to me? What would it look like?
J: If love was a painting, I would call it an abstract painting. It’s beautiful, sophisticated but sometimes it only makes sense to you. Abstract paintings are often left up to interpretation.
C: --
3. If love had a scent, what would it smell like?
J: If love was a scent it would be lavender.
C: I love the smell of an African woman who has a natural scent (almost as if she just took a shower but has not put deodorant on yet) a natural odor.
4. Who set the precedent of love for you?
J: I never had great example of relational love between family members so I would say the relationship between my grandma and father stressed to me what love was. My grandma and dad could cuss argue, fuss and fight and after the argument was over could be in the same room laughing and drinking coffee together. What that taught me is that people who love each other argue, fuss and fight, but when you love someone you don’t just stop talking to them, you get out what needs to be said and then you keep growing from that conversation.
C: I would have to say my mother, brother and grandmother.
5. If the love experience was a song, which one would it be?
J: I think love would 2 songs actually. It would be sweet thang by Mary J Blige, but also I will always love you by Whitney Houston. Sweet Thang because love can joyful, smooth easy, but it can also be Like I Will Always Love you by Whitney because although we may love someone, not everyone is for us.
C: Micheal Jackson- Man In The Mirror
6. What is the biggest lesson being in love has taught you?
J: My biggest lesson on love is that love requires communication. It’s not a feeling. Love is about action. Love is always about showing and proving no matter how many months or years you have been in a relationship. What I have also what I have also learned is that just cause you love someone doesn’t mean they are the right one for you. You need more than just love to have a successful relationship.
C:You cannot be in love and selfish at the same time.
7. If you could give any brother//sister advice about love, what would it be?
J: My advice would be don’t take advice from others about your relationship. Keep people out of your mix. Love the best way you can. If you’re going to love someone, love them with all you got. Don’t give 50% or even 95% that’s not enough. Don’t be afraid to fall in love with someone who isn’t what you thought you would fall in love with. Dope people are often disguised, you just have to have the vision, and the ability to love. Lastly if you’re not ready to love don’t rush. Because all you’re going to do is leave a path of heartbreak in your path. Take your time love is great thing, is a very valuable thing, take your time don’t rush yourself.
C: That love in any relationship is 100%/100%, and begins with oneself, but also needs the capacity to go beyond the individual.